What did the pirate get on his report card? Seven Cs! What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1 I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible. (Photo: Paramount) What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey. What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s got little legs. How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment? Tenants. Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they’re so easy to catch. Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale. How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory! I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why! Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.